donor-conceived Archives - Donor Conception and Beyond

Parenting a Donor-Conceived Child – 8 Things I’ve Learned

Posted on January 12, 2021March 28, 2022 by Gail

When my daughter was seven years old, she looked me straight in the eye, tilted her head just a little to the right so I knew something big was coming, and said, “I would never use a donor, Mum”. Now Lola* is a pretty sensitive kind of kid, so I knew she’d given this statement […]

An Open Letter to Anonymous Donors

Posted on May 25, 2020January 12, 2021 by Gail

Using anonymous donors in Australia is not allowed, but many people head overseas to countries where anonymous donors are the only option. Bre’s story (below) is a reminder that your children will grow up one day to be thinking, feeling adults who have the right to know the identity of their biological parents. That not […]

Sperm Donor Family Limits (and Why They’re a Farce)

Posted on July 17, 2019January 12, 2021 by Gail

*Names have been changed to protect the individuals’ privacy Once Stephanie* had overcome the initial shock of becoming a new parent, she started investigating whether her donor-conceived child had any siblings ‘out there’. At which point, another round of shock kicked in. Stephanie discovered that her daughter has 37 half-siblings. The Importance of […]

Using a Donor: 10 things I’d Do Differently Next Time

Posted on June 6, 2019January 12, 2021 by Gail

* All names have been changed to protect the individuals’ privacy. When I found out my sperm donor had conceived children in the triple-figure range, I was asked repeatedly by friends, family, acquaintances, “If you had to do it all again, would you do anything differently?” At first, I didn’t really know how to answer […]

Please, Tell Your Children They Are Donor-Conceived

Posted on April 24, 2019September 22, 2020 by Gail

“Now that I think back,” says Cassandra, “my mother did have a sick look on her face when I spat into that tube.” Cassandra was always interested in genealogy and family history, but doing a DNA test was too expensive. One day she discovered that genealogy company, 23andMe, were offering a free test to people […]

Finding Donor Siblings, and Then Losing Them

Posted on February 28, 2019April 28, 2019 by Gail

Guest post by Shannon Louise, author of blog: ‘My Rainbow Tribe‘ Now here is a contentious one for you… I write this entry with as much care and sensitivity as I can muster, having already experienced a taste of the polarising and colourful reactions to this ‘land mine’ of a discussion about finding donor […]

How to Choose a Fertility Clinic – 10 Things to Consider

Posted on February 6, 2019February 6, 2019 by Gail

When Sally* and her wife, Georgia*, needed to choose a fertility clinic to undergo assisted reproductive treatment (ART) with a sperm donor, they didn’t do much research. “We pretty much went with a recommendation from a friend, and launched straight into IVF treatment”, explains Sally. “Unfortunately, after two failed attempts, we discovered Georgia had […]

Part Three: Twelve Ways You Can Minimise the Risks (When Assessing Donor Profiles)

Posted on January 24, 2019April 24, 2019 by Gail

Welcome to the third article in this 3-part blog series: ‘Truth and Lies, and How to Minimise the Risks’ In case you missed them, here’s Part One and Two: Part One – Do Sperm and Egg Donors Lie? Part Two – Do Sperm and Egg Banks Cut Corners? Note: *indicates that name has been changed […]

Part One – Do Sperm and Egg Donors Lie?

Posted on December 17, 2018March 14, 2019 by Gail

Welcome to the first article in this 3-part blog series: ‘Truth and Lies, and How to Minimise the Risks’ In this three part blog series, you’ll hear from sperm and egg donors, donor recipients and donor-conceived people about their experiences of lies, and the subsequent impacts on donor-conceived children… * Note: all names have been changed […]

Should You Choose a Donor Who Looks Like You?

Posted on November 29, 2018June 3, 2021 by Gail

* Note: all names have been changed to protect the individuals’ privacy. Back in the ’70s when feminists were dissing pinafores and donning protest banners, and donor sperm was for ‘Mr. and Mrs.’ couples only, physicians selected the sperm donors (which, in many cases, included their benevolent selves) on behalf of their customers. And as […]

9 Things You Should Never Say to Donor-Conceived People, and Why

Posted on August 21, 2018June 6, 2019 by Gail

“Maybe instead of asking how our parents are feeling about us looking for our donors, I would probably prefer being asked, “How am I feeling about looking for my donor? Because, really, it’s not about my parents.” Chloe Allworthy is an Australian donor-conceived adult who has known about her genetic origins since she was 7 […]

Are Donor-Conceived Children at Risk of Incest?

Posted on August 3, 2018November 29, 2018 by Gail

Depending on the type of donor you choose, your donor-conceived children may be at risk of incest. Consider the following scenario… A woman walks into a bar. She sees an attractive person at the other end of the bar; admires the lush, chocolate brown hair (just like hers), gets lost in the deep emerald […]

My Sperm Donor Story

Posted on July 19, 2018February 28, 2019 by Gail

I have a beautiful seven year old daughter who has somewhere in the vicinity of 150-200 siblings (although that’s an educated guess because no one really knows; not even the sperm bank). Hi, I’m Gail and I created this blog because I want to share everything I’ve learned about donor conception with you, so that […]